Motivation to do the hard things in life: Lessons from Sniffy the Rat

image from animalgals.wordpress.com

To provide some context to this particular blog, I am the kind of person who would scream when I would see a mouse run across the room. During a therapy session I was having with a couple, I spotted this mouse run across the back of their chairs at this inopportune moment when they were in the middle of sharing some intense personal emotions. My own emotions at seeing the mouse got the better of me and within seconds, both me and the woman client were standing on our chairs screaming to the amusement of the husband in this piece. I don't want to enter into any discussion about the possible sexism this implies. It was what it was.

I counter this piece with an experience I had with one of my children's pets. When her Dad brought home a pet rat for my daughter's birthday some time ago, she was delighted and I was somewhat shell shocked. Hmmm a pet rat in the house? For the sake of my daughter, Sniffy became very much part of the family including chewing on our net curtains that stupidly floated into the cage with the wind, or finding holes in the girls' clothing because they had let him and his voracious teeth loose in their drawers. My daughters and son would walk around the house with him on their shoulders or arms often. One sad day, Sniffy became very ill and the veterinarian told us there was only one hope that he would survive. The treatment would entail someone (read here, me) injecting Sniffy twice a day with this medication in his tiny neck.

As a family we all looked after Sniffy at that time and I dutifully held him gently and injected him with the required medication twice a day. Unfortunately, despite 24 hr care Sniffy didn't make it. Looking back on this scenario some years later, I learned something about myself, something about which I have needed reminding. I ask myself, "How on earth did I do that?" This was not a task of my choice, it was a task that should have seen my fears incapacitating me or at the very least have me run!

My answer not only speaks to me personally but I believe can also be applied in our working lives. I was able to do it because of how much I cared for my daughter, wanting to give her the maximum support possible. My emotional attachment to my daughter outweighed my desire to run from the task. There have been many occasions like this one in my life that have reinforced this concept. Love overcomes fear, emotional attachment outweighs inertia.

How can this apply in an organizational or business setting? Although a relationship between a parent and their child is not something that we usually experience in the workplace, if we were able to get emotionally connected not only to our work itself but also to our peers, then we would be able to go above and beyond ourselves and our pre-set limitations. It would confirm previous studies that show that connections between peers or colleagues is the most important factor to increase motivation (see my previous blog). 

A final anecdote to illustrate this point: A family member works within the IT industry. In my most objective judgement possible (which you may question at will), this person is simply brilliant at software development. He was explaining that he is doing an extraordinary number of hours work at the moment (75 hours he told me for last week) because the pressure is really on to get a particular piece of work done. I asked him why he allowed himself to be worked so hard by the firm that has employed him. His answer? This contract was important and he did not want to let his colleagues down. He has developed an emotional attachment and sense of responsibility to the people with whom he works and therefore, by extension, to how much he is willing to do. While we might want to encourage some thought about balance between work and personal life and not expecting people to revolve their lives around their work in this instance, understanding his motivation is nonetheless useful.

By the way, as a postscript, I would still scream if I saw a mouse running across the floor!